Reflections

 Days are hard. Nights are harder. The years seem so incredibly short to me. The world is spinning faster and faster and I’m out of breath on the merry-go-round of life.

But, let’s just take a moment to realize how far you’ve come; I want to breathe in how far I have come. This time of year is not my favorite, but I always reflect because it’s when real life changes happened. So, you may just see Stephany; the girl you met in third grade, or in your job interview or even see at Ingles picking up the weekly groceries. —But, I’m not the girl I was five years ago; more importantly four years ago.

I was weak. I relied on fake love with a husband that I truly believed was a good man and sadly, even friends I've known for years. A marriage ended and a bestfriend from high school left my side. The only thing that truly remains the same are Daven and Lilli. Man, did they teach me hard core, raw, Mama love. And, they test it everyday. But I would not change that for anything. 

I don’t make New Years resolutions because honestly, some days I’m just trying to survive. If you’re like me - tell yourself how far you’ve come and let that be an eye opener. You need to hear it. Make sure you are mentally, emotionally and physically okay. Then thrive, not just survive.

A few goals I have set aside for myself are to be more carefree; less uptight. To just go with the flow. I mean - plans are going to fall apart. Declutter my mental notes. I overthink everything. It totally is obnoxious. That's pretty damn sad when you get on your own nerves, right?! Yes, it's bad. And, lastly, not work as long after standard work hours. I get off five o'clock and I need to leave. In the middle of something or not. It will be there tomorrow.

I really need to be a better blogger. So, let's pencil that in too. Here is to a new start with a wiser focus.

Share:facebook - twitter - pinterest

Reflections

Menu Meals

If you are new here, you will come to realize that I am a planner. With saying that I take that word lightly. I do organize, make notes, plan in my mind and keep my fingers crossed it makes it to a piece of paper. If you followed along before, you will remember the weekly menus I prepared.

Being transparent - I will tell you that I may make a menu but after a hectic day; we just pick up dinner. This single mom role is not for the faint of heart. I have learned to just roll with it. We take days by day and minutes by the minute. Anything can change; just being real. I do like to plan though especially for the grocery store trip so that I do not find myself giving my debit card to the cashier. Grocery stores can take all the money in one trip. You are probably like me and buy things that no one needs, but that special is just too hard to pass up or you convince yourself three aisles down that you really need those Oreo cookies. Girl, buy the cookies.

Our life is crazy. I am not going to sugar coat it. It is a beautiful chaos sometimes. Between working long hours, Dav's extracurricular activities, sports and more - we are on the go. Our little hashtag for our family is #gogogo. I even have to look at my calendar for that - where I am suppose to be and with what child. Geeze.

So, I try hard to plan our meals. I really feel that dinner time is important and if I can get just a good 45 minutes to an hour with my two babies at the same table to hear about their days and what is going on at school - I consider myself a lucky mom. I want to see those precious faces as much as I can. We truly only get a good three hours after work every day (if I do not have to work over) and that time is precious and we use that time wisely. And, our menu is not fancy. It is all about the planning to someone make the evenings a little less chaotic. Most of the time it will be their request.

With my return to blogging, this is the menu items for this week.

Monday: marinated Pork Chops with green beans and mac-n-cheese
Tuesday: Taco Tuesday! 
Wednesday: grilled Chicken with veggies over garlic noodles 
Thursday: Sandwiches, chips and fruit (they choose their sandwich type and we assemble them together)
Friday: with their dad 
Saturday: with their dad 
Sunday: Sloppy Joes and fries

I do hope that you have a wonderful week and even better week!

Share:facebook - twitter - pinterest

Menu Meals

Happy December

December is here. The busiest month of the year. It poked its pretty self around the corner and said S U R P R I S E. Well, for me it has. I love this time of year. It is so special with my children, our family and our community. It just doesn't last long enough it seems. I also love the joy it brings to everyone around; pure Christmas cheer.

Our home is cozy and decorated with our favorite Christmas things. Our tree is simple, but precious. I truly love to watch the kids put the ornaments all over the tree and tell where the ornament came from. I want them to always remember how special those ornaments are!

Do you have an Elf that visits your home? We do. His name is Tootsie. He has not made his grand debut yet for 2018, so we are eagerly waiting on him. Or in better terms, waiting on me to get it together so he can come out of the closet. Honestly, I am shocked Dav has not found him yet. He snoops around often and even though he knows my closet if off base - I still find him there. But, while he is still unaware; I want to embrace in the magic and watch their smiles as Tootsie creates masterpieces and messes leading up till Christmas. This year he will be bringing a little surprise when he comes. I can't wait to show you and tell you all about Tootsie. He sure does bring a lot of giggles.

I have not even began to shop. I have browsed Amazon, but nothing is catching my eye. This is a golden sign we are having a SIMPLE Christmas. The kids have too much. Their rooms are full of toys and treasures...and some are never touched. Actually, last Christmas Lilli received a dollhouse from Santa. She has played with it once. I repeat once. Oh, you know the dollhouse that you buy the actual house and then have to buy all the room's furniture separate?! Yes, that dollhouse. It was not cheap - at all. So, I will not do that again. Oh, and a side note; my friend gave Lilli a different doll house over the summer because her kids never play with it anymore. Lilli plays with it daily. So, Santa your dollhouse was beautiful but it did not take up with Lills. The one with markers all over the wood and mismatched furniture is the one she ended up loving.

This year (as I done when Dav was the only child) it will be:

• Something you want
• Something you need 
• Something to read 
• Something to share 
• Something to wear 
• and, stocking stuffers 

Very simple. 

At work, we adopted a DSS child from the Angel Tree and that makes my heart happy. I want Dav and Lills to realize there are children out there that truly have nothing - children in our community. I want their hearts to learn to give instead of receive. Also, we purchased supplies for a boarding school in our county. May we never forget how important even having a toothbrush, set of pajamas, warm socks, soap to wash with are. Those are the things that boarding school ask for this year. 

I am so happy though that Christmas is basically here. I LOVE even the cheesiest Christmas movies on Netflix. I love baking sweet treats. Lastly, I truly enjoy that work is not so crazy busy this time of year so that I can enjoy being home with Dav and Lills and getting to attend a couple of school functions that they have. Our time is the most important.

My absolute favorite with the kids is to make ornaments and build ginger bread houses. So ready to do that. We already have all of our supplies - I may be just anxious to create them as they are.

May we NEVER forget that Jesus is the reason for this season. I can not wait to watch our church program and the children's program. They are beautiful and I always get teary eyes. May we always know we need to celebrate Him.

Are you ready for Christmas?

Share:facebook - twitter - pinterest

Happy December

Chapter two.

It's been f o u r years. Four years since I have been in this space. While wanting to come back way before now, I just did not know how. Many times I would open this computer to sit and write and my fingers just could not type; so I told myself "you are not ready". I often made notes in my phone of what I wanted to say and just could not come to this space to express it.

This is a space that is dear to me. It all started with sharing of memories in my little family. Many of those being documented of my two precious little children's lives. That is why I need to so eagerly come back. They are growing so, so fast. Let's not say I left blogging; I took a huge pause. Blogging has always been in my heart. I've met so many other mommies in this network that I still follow on other social media platforms and I am still glad to know.

Four years. Not so long years, but difficult. Years of grieving. Years of silence. Years of misunderstanding. Years of confusion. And, years of findings. I look back at what has felt like a standstill at times has gone by so very fast. So, as I return back to my little space here I am going to share with other single mothers what I have gone through. It's not to bring you down with the sadness that has occurred, but to hopefully help others know that there is a light at the other end of the tunnel. There is hope. There is that other person going through the emotions that you are. And, lastly, that God truly clings to the broken hearted.

During this time, one thing I know that holds true is that is not what happens to us; it is what we do and how we react to those happenings. I have come to terms that it is okay to not be okay. It is okay for me to not know now how to act and react as I try to find our new normal. It is okay to start something new for us without feeling guilty for being the slightest bit happy about it. It is okay for me to still cry after this time because I really do not have answers and I can not fix everything.

So many friendships that were made before; I hope for more. I have truly realized that in a time of grief and sadness it is important to share so that I can help other while helping myself. I needed that help and someone else will too. It is so important to feel a connection while learning to coupe. It is only when it happens to us that we truly understand how it feels. I was one that needed that help. I was one that read other blogs seeking some sort of understanding. Every story is different; every beginning, middle and end. But, through our shares we hope to reach out to help and enjoy all the feels.

After much thought and debate in my head, I have decided to start a new blog. While the other is not gone, it is just private. Chapter one is complete. I never want to forget those memories because I will be bringing along with myself two very important pieces along in this next chapter. That is Davenport and Lillian who are now eight and five.

This space will be our story. I am so thankful for this space.

Share:facebook - twitter - pinterest

Chapter two.