Chapter two.

It's been f o u r years. Four years since I have been in this space. While wanting to come back way before now, I just did not know how. Many times I would open this computer to sit and write and my fingers just could not type; so I told myself "you are not ready". I often made notes in my phone of what I wanted to say and just could not come to this space to express it.

This is a space that is dear to me. It all started with sharing of memories in my little family. Many of those being documented of my two precious little children's lives. That is why I need to so eagerly come back. They are growing so, so fast. Let's not say I left blogging; I took a huge pause. Blogging has always been in my heart. I've met so many other mommies in this network that I still follow on other social media platforms and I am still glad to know.

Four years. Not so long years, but difficult. Years of grieving. Years of silence. Years of misunderstanding. Years of confusion. And, years of findings. I look back at what has felt like a standstill at times has gone by so very fast. So, as I return back to my little space here I am going to share with other single mothers what I have gone through. It's not to bring you down with the sadness that has occurred, but to hopefully help others know that there is a light at the other end of the tunnel. There is hope. There is that other person going through the emotions that you are. And, lastly, that God truly clings to the broken hearted.

During this time, one thing I know that holds true is that is not what happens to us; it is what we do and how we react to those happenings. I have come to terms that it is okay to not be okay. It is okay for me to not know now how to act and react as I try to find our new normal. It is okay to start something new for us without feeling guilty for being the slightest bit happy about it. It is okay for me to still cry after this time because I really do not have answers and I can not fix everything.

So many friendships that were made before; I hope for more. I have truly realized that in a time of grief and sadness it is important to share so that I can help other while helping myself. I needed that help and someone else will too. It is so important to feel a connection while learning to coupe. It is only when it happens to us that we truly understand how it feels. I was one that needed that help. I was one that read other blogs seeking some sort of understanding. Every story is different; every beginning, middle and end. But, through our shares we hope to reach out to help and enjoy all the feels.

After much thought and debate in my head, I have decided to start a new blog. While the other is not gone, it is just private. Chapter one is complete. I never want to forget those memories because I will be bringing along with myself two very important pieces along in this next chapter. That is Davenport and Lillian who are now eight and five.

This space will be our story. I am so thankful for this space.

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Chapter two.